1. E-books: “That kind of radical contingency is not compatible with a system of justice or responsible self-government.”
2. Smartphones: “Great allies and enablers of narcissism.”
3. The Internet: “It’s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.”
4. Cats: “the sociopaths of the pet world.”
5. Experimental fiction: “It’s also in my Protestant nature, however, to expect some reward for this work.”
6. Schmaltzy fiction: “I cringe, myself.”
7. Michiko Kakutani: “the stupidest person in New York City.”
8. Insipid Broadway musical adaptations: “instantly overpraised.”
9. Author videos: “This might be a good place for me to register my profound discomfort at having to make videos like this.”
10. Half of all the things everyone else likes: “‘Popular’ is just another word for ‘hipster.’”
And the fucking hell of it all is that feeb-a-linos like him will live to be 93 and ALWAYS have a girlfriend. (Who feeds the wood stove, answers the rotary phone and responds to his mail on an Olivetti portable.)
